5 Lies You Were Told About Grief

Perhaps one of the truest, most accurate articles that I have read regarding loss and the grief attached to it:  5 Lies You Were Told About Grief.  With several wonderful Anne Lamott quotes, and much wisdom from the article's author, Alison Nappi, this one truly resounded with the heartbreak that I experienced when my mother was murdered on January 10, 1993.  The following years of trying to pick myself back up; only to fall, over and over and the anguish of being met with constant beratement from my father which led to deeper despair, isolation and pain...

 

"The truth is there are losses you never get over. They break you to pieces and you can never go back to the original shape you once were, and so you will grieve your own death with that of your beloved lost."

 

"In many ways you are restarting your life from scratch, especially if your beloved lost was the central pin you’d built your life around.  For many of us, there is no life to get on with; the lives we were living are irretrievable."

 

But enough of that.  Read the article.

The ENTIRE Purpose of This Blog...

"To live is to suffer,

to survive is to find some meaning

in the suffering."

 

~Friedrich Nietzsche~

Angsty, but Good...

"Behind every girl is a story of a guy who made her the way she is today.  Every girl has had at least that one guy she's been through so much with.  He could be her longest relationship, her first love and her first heart break.  She had some of her best experiences with him, and some of her worst.  He said some of the sweetest things to her, and he also said some of the most terrible things.  There are things he did that made her the happiest girl, and there are also things he did that made her feel so shitty.  All these memories, will follow her into every relationship she gets into.  She just feels like less of a girl every time she tries to get to know someone, because she gets more insecure every time it doesn't work out.  Every mistake other guys would make, would just remind her of that one guy who hurt her badly.  She was never the same after that guy, and never will be, again." ~Nash Grier~

Directions

Standing at crossroads is never easy.  You would think that after decades of practice, one would get the hang of it.  Truth is, there are days that I am sure the years of practice only make it more difficult.  Balancing, weighing options, making a choice?  Lift the fog, allow me to glimpse ahead and perhaps I could.  When you are in your twenties, the options seem limitless, bouncing back is easier.  In your thirties, you feel adult enough to responsibly make a choice.  At the moment, picking a road seems like too much effort--I have already been on both roads, I know where they lead.  Journeying back if I choose the wrong one seems impossible.  Today, I just find myself worn down, weary and contemplating setting up camp because my heart is too heavy to withstand another fatal blow.

Indeed

“Do not judge me by my successes,

judge me by how many times I fell down

and got back up again.”  

~Nelson Mandela~