I stumbled across this one, today, and found that it struck a cord.
I generally don't regret much in my past--good or bad--because it has all had an influence on who I am today. If our past choices make us who we are; the world's responses to those choices shape us to perhaps an even greater degree.
Despite this, I couldn't help but agree with this one. When I glance back to the folks that I thought were my life prior to 2010 and see how much time, love and resources I devoted to people that were not equally invested, and some that were actually more devoted to my demise, when I truly loved them--it is difficult to not regret the intimacy that I openly gave them.
I would like to say that I learned something from trusting those that didn't deserve it. That maybe now I am more careful in who I open up to. But I think I have always been pretty guarded. If anything, I think I regret that I allowed myself to be fooled into believing those folks actually cared, too and maybe even more so, that I was unable to see them for who they really were but instead allowed myself to love the facade that they presented me with.
Love is a funny thing. I don't mean just romantic love. I love many people in my life. But when you have loved those that actually meant you harm; when their smiles and hugs were nothing more than lures and traps, it takes longer to recover. When hindsight shows you the flaws and you still miss the people that you believed them to be: surrogate sisters and mothers, brothers, family, friends--people that you loved with all of your being--it is sometimes difficult to see the lies and understand.
Mayhaps it is just difficult to see your own innocence and forgive yourself for loving the wrong people...
Despite this, I couldn't help but agree with this one. When I glance back to the folks that I thought were my life prior to 2010 and see how much time, love and resources I devoted to people that were not equally invested, and some that were actually more devoted to my demise, when I truly loved them--it is difficult to not regret the intimacy that I openly gave them.
I would like to say that I learned something from trusting those that didn't deserve it. That maybe now I am more careful in who I open up to. But I think I have always been pretty guarded. If anything, I think I regret that I allowed myself to be fooled into believing those folks actually cared, too and maybe even more so, that I was unable to see them for who they really were but instead allowed myself to love the facade that they presented me with.
Love is a funny thing. I don't mean just romantic love. I love many people in my life. But when you have loved those that actually meant you harm; when their smiles and hugs were nothing more than lures and traps, it takes longer to recover. When hindsight shows you the flaws and you still miss the people that you believed them to be: surrogate sisters and mothers, brothers, family, friends--people that you loved with all of your being--it is sometimes difficult to see the lies and understand.
Mayhaps it is just difficult to see your own innocence and forgive yourself for loving the wrong people...
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