Further Thoughts on Families

A main piece to this blog is to serve as a journal for my thoughts and experiences. For my own sake because writing has always been a way to clear my mind, vent and bring clarity to situations that I am struggling with. But to also share with others that are living through (or have lived through) similar situations realize that they aren't alone, realize that they can survive or maybe even serve as a motivator for individuals that are currently living in abusive relationships to take those extra steps necessary to personal freedom. And certainly, this is for the many individuals out there that don't understand domestic violence and what makes us stay with someone that hurts us. I was one of those women for many years, too. And then I lived through it, not only once, but twice.

For me, this is purging and healing, but as I discovered last night, still very painful. My post, yesterday, led to many hours of crying and feeling frustrated that my prior relationship led to the loss of my family, his family, and my path in life. My family not only took his side but pushed me out of their lives. I was kept from my nephews, I lost my brother/best friend, my father attempted to have me committed to a state mental hospital--I damn near lost my sanity through it.

Leaving an abusive relationship is very difficult to begin with--especially when they do not let go. As I was going through the horrendous process of obtaining a PFA; I had the added bonus of my family taking his side, deciding that I was on drugs (why else would I leave such a charming fellow?), and threatening/harassing me on top of what I was already getting. I actually entertained the idea of getting a PFA on my father, too. But that just seemed too crazy--who gets a PFA on their family?

Had I know then what the future held, I would have called the police and had my father removed from my property as opposed to trying to deal with it myself. With a PFA in place, he would have been forced to stay out of my life. He wouldn't have been able to show up on 4/22/10 and harass me as the PFA hearing was occurring against my ex-boyfriend. He would have been held accountable for making false accusations resulting in two state police officers wrestling me in my own driveway, handcuffing me and transporting me to the local ER for testing. But hey, it's just our tax dollars at waste. There is nothing wrong with father's treating their 36 year old daughters in such manners. Oh, hindsight. What a beautiful thing...