The Insanity of It All

To know that her current husband/baby daddy makes six figures and that the crazy amount she gets is just her play money--that is mind-boggling to me.  To know that so little of it truly goes to the children, to know that she uses the excuse of not having money to prevent them from following their own interests--that just seems sad.  That he is only left with ten dollars after the child support is taken out and that ten dollars is supposed to last two weeks--that blows my mind.  That he can't afford to see his children, wants to and she doesn't care--that is maddening.  That she can sleep at night without a guilty conscience, to find that she is so self-righteous through all of it, that she doesn't care who she hurts by running him through the wringer--him, the kids--that makes me wonder if there truly is justice in the world.  To know that we can't have a future, can't afford to live because of her greed--that is difficult to stomach.  That I am taking on extra hours and cases in hopes that we can survive, to support  children that I did not produce, when I have worked so hard to be independent and self-sufficient--that seems like insanity to me.  That our system works to destroy men that are good fathers, that want to see their children and want to support them, but at such a cost--that seems ludicrous to me. 

 

I do try to have sympathy and I have tried to put myself in her shoes.  I can't.  I realize that I may never understand the mentality behind someone that uses their womb to produce their own financial security.  To look at men, calculate how much I would be able to get out of them financially for eighteen years by producing their offspring?  That just seems foreign to me.  I think that I would be ashamed if everything in my life was bought and paid for because I was ensuring that my past partners had to pay for having been with me.  I sometimes wonder how society not only continues to permit such mentality but rewards it?  Maybe they need to put a cap on it--"Oh, six children?  Four different fathers?  Nope, you have to go out and work, too.  You can't just sit around, collect a bunch of checks and think that you are all that."   Maybe they should have to get spayed when they reach such levels?  I wish that young men, just becoming sexually active knew the risks that they really take.  Maybe, if they would come out with a birth control pill for men; something that they could secretly take without informing their partners.  Seems harsh?  I used spermicides, sponges and other such and didn't tell my partners--still making them wear condoms.  Better safe than sorry was always my motto...

 

I apologize.  Sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I just can't understand.  Sometimes it is difficult to not be bitter and confused by all of this.  Sometimes I wonder how people can justify destroying the lives of others that have the misfortune of crossing their paths and still manage to believe that they are owed what they take.  Am I really the only one baffled that our child support system has become so corrupt???